Full Cover or Full Disclosure?

You eventually start to feel as if you you more or less 'get the culture', but it takes time.

This was explained to me many months ago, after a frazzling day of sand clouds, traffic jams, and demanding privileged students. As time goes by, some things do indeed become clearer. Muslim modesty, for example, by way of covering your hair, is a great comfort to many of our students, who say that fretting over bed-head would surely make them late for college. And so when the female-only occasions arise, such as wedding parties, the doing of the hair and the choosing of the gown becomes a monumental event deserving of a whole week's planning and preparation. I was lucky enough to experience a local wedding, first hand, when my colleague was invited to one 'with guests'.

Here is what I knew to expect:

• The reception is a female-only event.
• Food will be extravagent and come in huge amounts.
• The guest list will be in the hundreds, if not thousands.
• Alcohol is not permitted.
• Gowns (fancy and in some cases very revealing) will be worn underneath the traditional black abayas.

But here is what I learned in person, at the actual event:

• Weddings are where you'll find the greatest collection and quantity of the world's gold.
• There will be loud, booming Arabic music.
• All wait-staff will be female.
• There will be no cameras.
• Dancing, all females of course, is encouraged.
• Dancing will be mostly of the belly-wiggling and hair-swinging variety.
• Dancing is done between the tables and on a cat-walk type of stage, and in a manner that would seem to most westerners as if you have a genuine romantic interest in the people around you, and mind you, all of the people around you are women.
• There might be an MC, in our case, a gorgeous Egyptian woman, to encourage above-mentioned dancing and hooting and hollaring.
• Large whole lamb bones are ceremoniously served up on top of heaps of gorgeous aromatic rice.
• The finest most delicious selection of hot beverages will be continously offered, including Arabic coffee, sweetened Turkish mint tea, Indian milk tea and green tea.
• Arabic appetizers are the best food feature of the evening, such as hummous, olives, dates, warm Arabic breads, eggplant and pomegranate salads with warm figs.
• The bride and groom only appear late into the evening.
• When the groom does arrive, the women wearing gorgeous evening gowns and letting down their hair, will hurriedly cover back up, out of cultural tradition and respect for the new bride and groom.
• Some women will remain as covered as they do on the street.
• Others will flaunt their typically voluptuous figures.
• Perfume servers will come round with Disney-like giant perfume bottles to help you freshen up.
• Strong Arabic incense will welcome you to the venue and continue to burn throughout the night.
• And foreigners will be warmly welcomed and kissed by the mothers of the bride and groom.

How honoured we were to be invited, and part of the 500-plus guest list! If any of you ever get the chance to attend an Arabic wedding, here is my advice: practice your belly dancing, starve yourself the day before, and see if you can borrow some gold.