Liar Liar

I honked the horn today at a local (Emirati) lady in her golden Lexus after she cut me off in the parking structure of our favourite mall. And you would think, that in a country where folks get sent to jail for flipping the bird, using the F word in public and kissing in restaurants, I would have let the situation drop. I do, after all, call this place 'home' for now and have willingly taken up residency.

But it's well over a hundred degrees outside, and yes, it gets humid here in the Dubai desert, and I had already spent a good chunk of the day in line at the phone company, where everyone seemed to go off on their coffee break just as I arrived at their desk. And when I honk, she throws her car into park to block my way, and the foul frustration starts spilling out of my mouth from within my sealed and air-conditioned car, while the woman who cut me off eyes me spitefully through her rear view mirror.

At some point, my 10-year-old son from the back seat says something like, 'I think she can read your lips Mom'. And when the most senior looking Indian security guy, of the three staff who gather to try and divert traffic from our little scene, seems to be taking instructions from the lady driver and gets onto his walky talky for back up and possibly the police, I take notice and call my husband Billy. First of all, I need him to pick up our daughter at school since I can see this situation heading into a lengthy incident. But also I need him to know that I am in a potentially legally difficult situation.

In fact, as recently as last month, a big news story featured another naughty expat who was jailed for showing his middle finger. While I'm in discussion with Billy, the security comes over to me and says, as gently as he can, 'she wants apology madum'. At this point, the boys in the back seat are starting to get nervous and I am enraged and in shock that a simple 'you-cut-me-off-so-I-honk-at-you' scenario had escalated to this level. So I hang up with my husband, get out of my car, walk over to speak to the lady with three sweaty Indian security guys as witnesses and a whole line of cars backing up and watching the scene unfold. I try to say 'would you mind moving your car' and she says 'I will not move my car we need the police'.
'What for?'
'I saw you shouting at me and I saw your bad words why you say such bad words with children in the car?'
'You cut me off, I was following the rules of the road'
'But in a parking garage' she says ' you must give way, this is not a road'
'I was not shouting I was talking with my children in the back seat'
And then she says 'you are such a LIAR'
And I say 'pardon?'
And she says 'you must know this is the UAE, we accept you being here but you must be in the UAE with our rules, this is NOT America, this is not Europe, this is the UAE'.

And in so many ironic ways she was right, and therefore, I was thinking, oh dear, I have a flight out in 10 days and any altercation with the police could trap me in this country and possibly land me in jail.

'I apologize'.
'Not like that you apologize, like you mean it'.

At this point I realize I have to do what I tell my 10-year-old, and say it like I mean it. And so, I suck it up, I say 'I'm very sorry Ma'm'. 'I'm quite sorry'. 'Please forgive me'. Etc. And so on. And so forth. She finally rolls up her window, and I, oddly grateful that I had put on good makeup, and a pair of designer sunglasses (there was an audience at this point), walk back to the car, get in with the boys, put it into drive, and let the big tears roll.